The Prøblem is...
People don't know how to love each other. I mean really love each other... let alone themselves.
This word, Love, has been so diluted and twisted and used against us, it has no meaning anymore, or if it does, it's a word full of fear and need.
When I got together my first boyfriend (at age 19 I'm proud to say), we had this agreement where we wouldn't say that word to each other... he asked for it that way, because he'd just gotten out of a relationship with a girl that got real clingy, and fearful, and was sending him teddy bears, and valentines, and all kinds of embarassing shit.
I wasn't that kind of girl to begin with, so it was no skin off my teeth, and frankly I saw what "love" was, based on my older sister and her behavior and I didn't want to be like that. It was just plain sick. In fact what most of you think of as love is just plain sick. Damn you TV, for spoon-feeding this sickness to the people!
Okay, I can hear you now, chuckling, and yet... waiting for me to explain what love really is.
Well, listen up bitches!
Love is where you CARE, I mean truely, deeply, down in the pit of your soul -- it's not a giddy thumpy heart feeling, or a light headed woozy feeling ~ it's a gut feeling.
Notice that's not qualified with a 'for', it's not love for something, as if it/them/you were a fucking object.
If you don't twinge when your significant other gets an owwie, then you're not fucking in love okay, you're infatuated, obssessed, bewitched, and otherwise out of your damn mind (and that's okay -- as long as you don't call it love).
And one other thing, if you think you "love" someone, and yet you can't operate unless they're around, that's not love either. That's NEED, which is an evil, evil thing that should be wiped from the face of this Earth.
Need is the killer of all relationships.
The only way to fix Need, is for you to find a dark cave somewhere, and mediatate on WHY you need someone else.
The Why's usually have to do with neglect and/or abuse in some form or another as a child from one or both of your parental figures... something even as innocuous as running in as a kid all happy and proud about something you acomplished and having daddy/mommy say 'not now I'm busy'... You wouldn't be the only one though, just about every damn person born from about 1969 on has these problems (yay~ for the sexual revolution, inflation, and latch-key kids ~! [/cynicism]).
But, once you've got it nailed down and figured out what that WHY was, you can learn to watch for that specific need pattern in your behavior and stop it before it does any damage.
See? And that's what loving yourself feels like, caring enough to fix your self, instead of looking for someone else to do it for you (such laziness!). Because, sure as hell no one is gonna give you the time of day if it looks like you're glomming onto them. I'm certainly not going to.
~Liriel
This word, Love, has been so diluted and twisted and used against us, it has no meaning anymore, or if it does, it's a word full of fear and need.
When I got together my first boyfriend (at age 19 I'm proud to say), we had this agreement where we wouldn't say that word to each other... he asked for it that way, because he'd just gotten out of a relationship with a girl that got real clingy, and fearful, and was sending him teddy bears, and valentines, and all kinds of embarassing shit.
I wasn't that kind of girl to begin with, so it was no skin off my teeth, and frankly I saw what "love" was, based on my older sister and her behavior and I didn't want to be like that. It was just plain sick. In fact what most of you think of as love is just plain sick. Damn you TV, for spoon-feeding this sickness to the people!
Okay, I can hear you now, chuckling, and yet... waiting for me to explain what love really is.
Well, listen up bitches!
Love is where you CARE, I mean truely, deeply, down in the pit of your soul -- it's not a giddy thumpy heart feeling, or a light headed woozy feeling ~ it's a gut feeling.
Notice that's not qualified with a 'for', it's not love for something, as if it/them/you were a fucking object.
If you don't twinge when your significant other gets an owwie, then you're not fucking in love okay, you're infatuated, obssessed, bewitched, and otherwise out of your damn mind (and that's okay -- as long as you don't call it love).
And one other thing, if you think you "love" someone, and yet you can't operate unless they're around, that's not love either. That's NEED, which is an evil, evil thing that should be wiped from the face of this Earth.
Need is the killer of all relationships.
The only way to fix Need, is for you to find a dark cave somewhere, and mediatate on WHY you need someone else.
The Why's usually have to do with neglect and/or abuse in some form or another as a child from one or both of your parental figures... something even as innocuous as running in as a kid all happy and proud about something you acomplished and having daddy/mommy say 'not now I'm busy'... You wouldn't be the only one though, just about every damn person born from about 1969 on has these problems (yay~ for the sexual revolution, inflation, and latch-key kids ~! [/cynicism]).
But, once you've got it nailed down and figured out what that WHY was, you can learn to watch for that specific need pattern in your behavior and stop it before it does any damage.
See? And that's what loving yourself feels like, caring enough to fix your self, instead of looking for someone else to do it for you (such laziness!). Because, sure as hell no one is gonna give you the time of day if it looks like you're glomming onto them. I'm certainly not going to.
~Liriel
posted by Ethan at 8:46 PM
5 Comments:
Ah, well... I failed... damnit... *curses words*
Manders, that wasn't a 'twinge' or 'gut feeling' like I meant... that's the fear of loss.
You *are* suffering from the inability to operate without Mike... eventually you'll get over it, but that's *not* what you need to do, you need to use that pain to galvanize a REAL healing process -- so that you can learn the ability to be whole, and confident, and at peace while alone (nothing makes a person more attractive than that!)
...
*sigh*
~Liriel
Damn Woman! That's quite a piece I'd really like to see the performance live, sure as hell beats the Vagina Monologues. And as far as it goes ... I've got a few words to throw in about love that you haven't mentioned, but this is your sounding board, not mine. So next time you're on the 'Hill, come on over and have a drink and I'll tell you about fucking 'Love', yeah, and maybe a few words about marraige too!
I'm sure that will be an interesting conversation Frown, and probably lead to more ranting vitrol here... are you sure you wanna get me started? XD
Oh Gawd Yes! Are you kidding? When we rant, we are in our prime!
LOL, okay then :D
Post a Comment
<< Home