The things I do to myself...
I'd been thinking about my dad a lot lately...
While turning the office upside down looking for my earliest diaries (which I didn't find of course) I ran across the scrapbook of his works I put together over 20 years ago (which was the last time I saw him), and then I found the photos... there was one of him and I... probably the only one in existance...
So tonight, just now in fact, I spent a good 2 and a half hours searching the internet for any sign of him.
I probably shouldn't have done that.
I guess in 1996 he had a near fatal heart attack. Then a stroke. Health issues compounded by financial problems which didn't help relationships. On his old geocities (circa 1998) he summed it all up:
"I am alone and likely to remain that way. I live with constant pain and loneliness and fear, with no hope of a better future."
Lord god -- of course I tried the only e-mail address I could find... but it immediately bounced.
However I found another webpage, circa 1999 where he described living with a new friend and lots of pets, and I found the most recent picture of him:
He always loved animals.
I hope he's still okay, doing better, or failing those... blissfully beyond.
~Liriel
While turning the office upside down looking for my earliest diaries (which I didn't find of course) I ran across the scrapbook of his works I put together over 20 years ago (which was the last time I saw him), and then I found the photos... there was one of him and I... probably the only one in existance...
So tonight, just now in fact, I spent a good 2 and a half hours searching the internet for any sign of him.
I probably shouldn't have done that.
I guess in 1996 he had a near fatal heart attack. Then a stroke. Health issues compounded by financial problems which didn't help relationships. On his old geocities (circa 1998) he summed it all up:
"I am alone and likely to remain that way. I live with constant pain and loneliness and fear, with no hope of a better future."
Lord god -- of course I tried the only e-mail address I could find... but it immediately bounced.
However I found another webpage, circa 1999 where he described living with a new friend and lots of pets, and I found the most recent picture of him:
He always loved animals.
I hope he's still okay, doing better, or failing those... blissfully beyond.
~Liriel
posted by Ethan at 10:17 PM
2 Comments:
... name the time and place, I'm buying.
Jesus, I thought I was bad.
The screwed up thing was, back when I was interviewing for Something In The Blood (1995) the author offered to track my dad down so we could have a reunion. For complex reasons I declined... and now I feel especially bad about it. I could have been at least someone there for him...
Post a Comment
<< Home